For the first time in a long time I didn’t feel authentic or truthful.
In the past two weeks I’ve experienced some of my greatest joy, and deep pain, and I felt like when I showed up online I had to put on a mask.
After so many years of getting the courage to honestly share my message in hopes to inspire and liberate, I really felt disconnected.
The past couple weeks, as many of you have probably seen by now, have been roller coaster of emotions for Nick and I. We found out we were pregnant and couldn’t of felt more joy in a single moment.
We started to dream what it would be like, we started to set goals around the due date, and we wanted to tell people. But we “couldn’t”. It’s not news you share early on. So other than our nearest and dearest, we didn’t share.
Then when a about a week later I experienced a miscarriage, Nick and I sobbed and felt such deep sadness, and felt extremely alone. This, you definitely “couldn’t” share, and luckily no one knows you were pregnant in this first place.
This is when Nick and I knew something was seriously fucked up. It’s in our moments of deep emotion we should be able to share, connect, and love on one another.
One thing 2018 has taught me is I’m here to talk about the taboo, to start breaking the silence, and to create more connection between our fellow earthlings.
So Nick and I decided to share what we’ve been going through. In that moment a weight lifted off our shoulders and the healing of it all deepened. I felt back at peace with speaking my truth. In flooded the comments and messages of people sharing their love, their pain, and connection. It was fucking beautiful.
I’m never suppressing my need to share again. We, as a soul family, should be able to share it all.
We shared our story via a Facebook live video, and wanted to bring it to the podcast because I feel like it’s important to talk about. As sad as we are about losing this pregnancy, we know our little soul will be back, and our joy will be so much more magnified. I trust my body, I feel closer to my husband than ever, and I completely trust in the Big U’s plan for us.
With all my love and truth,